It’s Time for a Halo Flash Knockoff

Posted on June 24, 2008 by Japanerd

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I loaded up Addicting Games today and once again began rummaging around for a halfway decent flash game. In a desperate attempt to avoid another stupid stick figure flash game, I decided to play Vulcan. To be perfectly honest, I couldn’t finish this game. It was horrific. At first glance, it seemed promising, then I noticed the blatant Halo rip off. They basically come out and say it’s a Halo rip off. If you shot this game, it would bleed Halo rip off. The main character is a blue spartan-esq soldier named “Vulcan”. In the game you trapsing through the top-down world of narrow hallways shooting Covenant cop out aliens.

The game itself started off on a sour note. Incredibly bad dialogue along with subpar animations made the introduction quite unbearable. Then they thought it would be a good idea to give you every weapon right at the start of the game. Now, let me tell you my beef with this strategy. It may make it easier for the programmers, but it gives the players of the game no sense of progress whatsoever. They have nothing to work for except killing the next enemy in exactly the same way that they were able to kill the enemy on the first screen. They also made this game ridiculously hard. All of your weapons are completely ineffective until you’re almost in point blank range. The aliens begin shooting the second you step out of cover, and their aim is impeccable. They can hit you from the other side of the room the moment you poke your badly animated self out of cover. Along the same line, the game lags terribly whenever there are more than 2 or 3 people shooting at the same time. This makes the game incredibly difficult to play, considering after the 3 or 4th room you can reasonably expect 4 or 5 aliens to be shooting at you at the same time. The weapons themselves are also incredibly poorly designed. The Battle Rifle, my favorite gun from Halo, is about effective as throwing a dead rabbit at the enemies. Then the SMG’s are incredibly over powered. You can basically one shot every enemy using the SMG’s. And the Shotgun is entirely useless. The only way you can get it to work at all is if the muzzle of the shotgun is firmly placed against the targets chest. Also, the levels are designed in such a way that at least half the time every one of the enemies onscreen can shoot at you while you can hit maybe one or two of them. How did the designers manage to make it that way? I haven’t the slightest idea. It’s some sort of chaos theory engine, I guess. But I digress. Onto the finale.

This game sucks. Not Dane Cook suck, or even Superman for the N64 suck. This game achieves its own special level of suck. Dante’s Inferno will be rewritten to include playing this game forever as the ninth level of hell. This game has absoultely no redeeming factors. Stay away from it at all costs! I think I made my point.